the tenth life.

"I just can't leave you every morning, early morning, to go to work and only seeing you late in the evening, I just can't."

Six months on and I have not regretted my decision, not once. Witnessing every single milestone is the luxury money can't buy.

Allah is the best of all planners, Alhamdulillah.

A sheer 8 weeks left to the arrival of my baby, InsyaAllah.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought to myself, OK, 9 months is a very long duration, I can take my time and not need to worry about anything. Of course I was overjoyed and excited when the doctor told me that I was positively pregnant. I came into the clinic to check on my fever and I came out of the clinic diagnosed with "pregnant". ALHAMDULILLAH. That was 8 months ago and it has been "baking" ever since.

The above was dated April 22th 2017. Exactly 2 months before Ihlal came into the picture.

(I had no idea it was not published. I rarely visit my blog and the only time I do is when I feel like publishing some pictures I took on my 7D, which I have not been doing ever since my husband stopped bringing me along on his skate sessions, because I was heavily pregnant of course.)

I want to remember my labour story and what other way to do it than to blog about it. 4 months late is never too late to talk about it.

On 22nd June 2017, I was due for my 38th week check up with Dr Lubna. It was the eve of the day I had to return back to school, the 27th of Ramadhan.

Basically every check up is the same. Once you've arrived, they will give you a litmus stick for you to pee on and then you get your weight and blood pressure checked, CTG (checking of the baby's heart rate) and then see the doctor for the ultrasound scan (which I enjoy every single time).

Unfortunately, well, fortunately actually, when I had to "pee on the stick" I realised that I was bleeding, but slightly. Went back in and told my mom and all she said to me was, "abis lah, dah nak beranak". My heart was racing and I wasn't mentally and physically ready. My hospital bag was not packed and all I had on me was my Celine Trio containing my purse, key pouch and phone. I mean, I was only 38 weeks along, my EDD given was 4th July 2017 which is in 2 weeks time. I was not ready for labour, I told myself.

I waited nervously for my turn and when I entered the doctor's room, she told me that bleeding is a sign of labour. At 10 am, I was 3 cm dilated and was told that I will be delivering my baby by 7pm. They made some calls and before I knew it, I was to be admitted to the delivery suite. I wasn't even allowed to drive the car back home. So I anxiously called my husband and told him that I am in labour and he has to come.

My mom sent me off into the delivery suite while waiting for my husband to arrive. My heart was racing and so many unpleasant thoughts about labour pain came crashing into my head. I was beyond nervous, I was scared, frightened and yet at the same time excited. They got me changed to the hospital gown and when I came out of the toilet, my husband has arrived, (the hospital is just 10 mins away from where I stay and where he works).

After I had my lunch at 11.30 am, the nurses strapped me up to the CTG to get both my heart rate and my baby's. By 2 pm, they put me on drip to further induce my contractions and an hour later the contractions kicked in hard. My cervix was dilated 1 cm almost every hour. The pain was intense, I took everything on the menu that I could take, laughing gas, numbing injection and even an injection that could put me into a slumber, everything except epidural. The longest 5 hours of my life, consisting of zikirs to whining and complaining of the pain to my husband to crying and then the cycle repeated until 7pm. By the time I was ready to push, I was so high from the laughing gas, I didn't have the energy to push my baby out.

The pain was excruciating and I had nowhere to run. I kept pushing with all my might and the baby did not come out. Eventually, they had to snip and use the vacuum to get my baby out. At exactly 7.21pm, about 5 minutes after Maghrib, my son came into this world. The joy of holding on to his warm wet slimy body was just so surreal. The most accomplishment I ever achieved in my life, giving birth to my son.

Roved around in the back seat of a Rover on a Friday night.

Yes, my honeymoon is long overdue.

29th July 2016.